Sunday Traditions

Sundays have always been a day of traditions. When I was a kid, it was always church, a "Nazarene nap," choir practice, and more church. When I met Gessner we adapted our traditions a little. At first it was church and then Olive Garden for lunch. After we got married, we went through a phase were we spent Sundays in bed after church, watching movies, ordering pizza, and just relaxing. More recently, a typical Sunday included brunch and a visit the farmers market in our neighborhood. Sundays were usually a day we spent together relaxing in preparation for the start of the work week. I loved our Sundays together and looked forward to them.

Now, I feel a little lost on Sundays. I don't have a routine and my old routines make me a little sad. This morning I woke up with an overwhelming sense of sadness and dread. It was another Sunday without Gessner. Fortunately a friend invited me to go to the farmers market with her family and I ended up having a decent day. I cried a little and laughed a lot. I got some advice from a "witch doctor" on how to treat my cancer and I took a nice nap. Now I am sitting at home watching a movie and trying not to think about chemo tomorrow or my upcoming surgery or the fact that I am sitting her alone. I know that it will get better in time, but right now Sundays are really difficult.